Candy Crush Conquering Champions Club

I’ve finally done it! All 869 levels have been conquered and it only cost me $300 in lives and 1354 hours of my life – Totally worth it if you ask me! While it’s true that I failed out of college and spent hundreds of mom’s dollars, I FINISHED ALL EIGHT HUNDRED AND SIXTY NINE FREAKIN’ LEVELS! How many people can say that? Only 22,145 people across the globe, that’s how many. I’m officially the newest member of the very exclusive and prestigious Candy Crush Conquering Champions Club.

Some people say that I’m addicted. Well I’m not. I can stop anytime I want. I just don’t want to. At all. Ever. I’m a Candy Crush hero and I’m blind to the haters. I mean just look at this cake the committee sent me after I finished the last level. Who needs real friends when you have mysterious cyber friends who send you fancy cakes in the mail?

b0cd72a633fb1b8feeb63857fdcf2646P.S. Even the sunglasses were edible and they were DIVINE!

Speaking of friends, well I haven’t really seen any of mine in a couple weeks. Wait what is today? Damn, has it been three months already? Man time flies when you’re having fun. Anyways, my friend the Candy Crush Man and I have been getting along great. He’s just so positive and whenever I do something special he always chirps up with an encouragement. It’s so funny every time because they’re always candy puns! Sweet! Delicious!


Here’s a picture of my main man and I just hangin’ out getting ready for our long day of crushing candies!

The best part about Candy Crush is just how creative the developers were with the game! I mean, there’s like six, count ‘em, SIX entirely different varieties of candy and they’re all different shapes! The huge variety of candy is matched only by the variety of the level design. The whole game is based on an 8×8 grid, so just imagine how many different types of levels they could design. Actually I’ll just tell you so you don’t even have to think, just like Candy Crush! It’s somewhere in the ballpark of 2,385,986 different combinations. Multiply that by 6 different types of candy, and you’ve got yourself a lifetime of crushing to do!

An entire new world called “Dreamland” comes out at midnight tonight and it’s rumored to have over ONE THOUSAND LEVELS. I can barely contain my excitement.


I’ll keep you guys updated on my progress and I wish everyone who’s trying to dethrone your champion the best of luck because you’re really gonna need it.

This is your Candy Crush Conquering Champion signing off.