Patti, Robert, the Music and I

People doubt magic, as they doubt serendipity, miracles and spontaneity. Life surrounds us with reasons to doubt it, while it simultaneously blesses us with reasons to doubt our doubts.

However Patti, you have carried me away on the rainbow that is your memoirist skills, and your art form that is life. It makes me wonder if life itself is a fantasy that can be only seen through the wisdom of expression, and through a lens of humility. Patti, you have taught me the fantasy that can be life, that the story of friendship is just as important of the story of loss. That the loss that will come in my life is an inspiration, because when something is lost, not words nor a song can bring them back. But, memories bring them back through expression of their essences that still remain. Because death diminishes all the ugly in a person, and leaves only the beautiful.

Stylistically downplaying the significance of Just Kids as a writen accomplishment, You left me yearning for anything that was as meaningful as the moment he left you in Just Kids. The memoir’s end is all the more devastating given the scope of Smith’s, and my empathetic, loss. Not only Robert and all the magic he represented, but a whole era, a whole series of people who died from “drugs and misadventure” and from “the plague of a generation.” You, made me feel that there was “no sense of vindication as one of the handfuls of survivors.” You tell your story- Robert’s story as a literal and creative awakening but ended by emphasizing the sense of inadequacy and loss that you felt by being the survivor. “Why can’t I write something that would wake the dead?”

Your guilt for being the survivor touched me most in this book, because of your motif of inadequacy artistically to Robert. Throughout most of the beginning of the book you felt lost in your path in life without Robert in it. Not only because art was your lives together, but because he was once your lover. Lovers are competitive, do you think that added to your feelings? That you lost a lover  in life before you lost a friend in death?

You and Robert are a synergetic power that will exist throughout time in the punk, art, and written expressions that you leave with us. You lost Robert Mapplethorpe, but your words gave him life for us.

Thank you Patti, for giving me, and us, the Chelsea, your music, and your story and life with Robert. Thank you for Just Kids.

Taryn Frey 🙂


Stress Buffers

You need some stress buffers Charine? I got your back. You want to be Miss Hozhoni, I’ll support you all the way! Stress is a chronic problem for us Adrenaline Junky Americans, and it doesn’t make college any better. Here are some songs that will totally help you kick ass. Kick stress’ ass, kick your opponents asses, and kick your ass into motivation time.

1. Get off of My Back- Bryan Adams & Hans Zimmer

Yeah, I know… a Disney Spirit moviie? Well Disney knows it’s shit, and so do these two musical artists. Disney has it’s way of creating hits from their animated films, but “Get off of My Back’s” drums and Adams’ raspy voice combine to create a heart racing song. A song that will wake you up, motivate you, and inspire you to win those battles. Because we all know you’re a bad ass who can do anything!  ( Enjoy the video, Spirit is a pretty inspiring movie itself. If you ever need to a high horse booster! lol)

Hey, Just ” Don’t Stop Believing” – Journey

It says it all for me. Even it it does say… too classic

Konichiwa STRESS! Robyn tell us ” Konichiwa Bitches.” So just do it and giggle to this silly song and sick beat.

Because you are “Bulletproof” pretty lady. La Roux thinks so too

…Hammer Time… I swear you’ll feet better if you Hammer Time after every paper or study session!


Let these songs make you smile and buffer your stress, it’s all you need!



Forgive Me..but I Can’t Go Through That Time Machine

To be honest, a “Time Machine” band is difficult for me. As I will be the very first to admit I am no music guru. I don’t know band members, and I don’t really follow bands in general. I know, it might be blasphemy to be in a music writing class and not really have an interest in members themselves.

I don’t fall in love with a band, I fall in love with their message, the music man. Culturally, this has changed; Beatles, Bee Gees, NSYNC. These are the legends that the people fell in love, as a band, a coexisting holy ONE being. Bands were one with their music, and both were known and worshiped.

Now, we were worship the sound, and maybe get the feels for one band member: Adam Levine, Hayley Williams, and Harry Styles. We worship…the lead vocalists while the other band members get lost in the cloud that is their chariot. We bow down to the already narcissistic asses that adore the spotlight. I mean, don’t get me wrong; Jim Morrison and the other people, Bon Jovi and his tag alongs…these egotistical leaders have always been face of the band.

However, the “band” itself has been lost. The family that is the band is gone, at least to the audience. There seems to be only the face of the band now, and so, as I have learned to love the bands of past souls, I have adapted myself to that. I have been poisoned by the pretty faces of our culture of music. I am missing out on the musical talent outside of the shadow of the throat. I am sorry to you faceless guitarists that soothe my soul. To you hypnotic nameless drummers that replicate the sound of my lovers heart. To you forgotten pianists, because your finger dancing makes me cry; yet your name is lost to me. I am sorry that I can’t name you behind that sexy face and tattooed body that brainwashes me. Forgive me, for you are beautiful.

That’s why I can’t create my own band of blessed musicians, I don’t know them. I wish I did; I wish I had that knowledge. But, I am a twenty year old redhead lost in the music. Forgive me.

Here’s a “CLUE”


I will call a good movie with a beautiful soundtrack, a CINEMATIC experience; movies such as Titanic, Breakfast Club, Terms of Endearment, and etc. The soundtrack is the movie, and vise versa.

But sometimes… the song comes first and is placed so brilliantly to a final scene in a movie that it can’t help but be perfection. No matter how many rights were signed, or comical deviation it took, it turns out just simply, “shakingly” perfect.

As Big Joe Turner sang “Shake, Rattle & Roll” for the first time in 1954, Clue was simply a seductive sleuthing game. Thirty years later Miss Scarlett and Professor Plum were doing their real time shaking in the cult classic that became CLUE. The soundtrack itself includes “Life Could be a Dream” and ” Sh Boom Sh Boom,” confusing the murderous scenes with a sense of giggles all throughout. As the laughter drains out, and the infamous Clue cards flash across the screen displaying the names of Eileen Brennan, Tim Curry and Madeline Kahn, the Who Dunnit’ ending is once again fooled by the paradox that is this movie.

“Shake, Rattle & Roll” ends this sleuthing, J Edgar Hoover parody firing comedy with a simple sense of light heartedness. A smile that is tickled by that little temptation that it inspires one to sway their hips, and tap their foot. It leaves the audience warm from six cold blooded murders. The multi ending, possibility of this or that finale is witty and clever, giving curious credit to the original game, and the 1954 hit concludes it in a smirkin, damn that’s clever kinda’ way.

Don’t want to spoil the ending, but let’s just say the least expected character, is the only one who gets to “Shake, Rattle & Roll” with her….or her spouse in the end! (Get it?)


Lucy and her 20 lil’ Answers


Answering questions about our music interests is not just difficult, it’s an obstacle consisting of looking inside ourselves. Looking through our endless I-tunes library, and the library of our memories and emotions that go along with that list of artists and songs. It’s hard, and it’s beautiful to understand the depth that music has, and the power it has over us. I wrote these questions with the idea in mind to provoke true thought about whoever chose my questions. To think about every area in his/her life that music could touch them….as well as some sexiness!

I was lucky enough to have lovely and quirky Lucy choose my questions, and to get a hint of what kind of music touches her. To understand a lil’ bit about why she is the awesome person she is…..Here’s Lucy’s 20 lil’ answers!

1.If you could have anyone’s voice, whom would you choose?

Amy Winehouse

2. What is your sexy song?

Porterose in July – Gramatik

3. Your go-to Pandora station?

Right now, Papadosio, but usually Jackson 5

4. Who is your go-to artist for a good ole happy day? Sublime

5. Who is your go-to artist for a bad day?

Green sky Bluegrass

7. What artist do you desperately want to see naked? Honestly, Rihanna

8. What artist/song inspires you to write something beautiful?

Elephant Revival

9 What artist could be your “spirit animal?”

I really would have to think about this one.

10. A song that soothes your soul?

You can’t always get what you want- Rolling Stones

11. A song that reminds you of only beautiful memories?

Gotta get up- Harry Nilson

12. What is a song that provokes deep thoughts, or stoic emotions?

Widespread Panic

13. Give me a song/artist that inspires pure negative emotions, either about a memory, a person , etc.

String Cheese Incident

14. Share with me a song that makes you want to live life to the fullest, a song that inspires you to just LIVE a lovely life.

Happy Birthday

15. A song that could describe your life’s journey so far…?

Lucy- Pepper ( haha I like)

16. Give me a song that could describe what you want your life TO be like in the future.

Beethoven’s 5th Symphony

17. A song that makes you feel love for a close family member?

Home-Edward Sharpe and the magnetic zeros

18. Share with me an artist that makes you want to be a better man/woman?

Eminem (Fuck yeah)

19. Share with me a song that inspires you to make a change in the world? ( Not MJ’s Man in the Mirror lol)

Decaptacon- Le Tigre

20. If you could sing any song, and sing it beautifully, what song would you choose to share with the world? Sing it the way you want to portray the message behind it…, just experience a song with an audience as the singer, etc.

Drop- Elephant Revival


Thanks Lucy…Here ya go! Cheers to your future, hope it’s beautiful! 🙂

Giddy, Giddy hearts


Happy songs…just make us happy! They flutter our hearts and smiles, and as Valentine’s Day is approaching us Durangotangs, it beckons us with sunshine, bluebird sky and weather that only can create warm hearts. Warmth for Colorado, our peers, friends, and if so lucky..that special someone that makes the cut to be a valentine.

A valentine that sparks those giddy feelings, flushed cheeks and sweaty palms. Someone to kiss gently on the forehead, and nose, to be childish with, playful with. That’s what’s so special about love, all kinds of love, is that it ignites cuddles within two souls. Especially with new crushes, new love, new obsessions of the most natural kind, that fun, frisky spontaneous feeling. It’s those giddy giddy feelings, that first crush, butterflies, I want you bad feeling.

NeverShoutNever’s songs are carefree, and true to the light hearted spirit of teenage years and romance. Trouble just offers smiles, snaps, and pictures of Kian from Vine. That effortless cute way of  crushing on some one is lovely; and well, this song is just a lovely, perky, overall feeling of joyful addiction for that one boy or girl. CUTENESS 🙂


Jon Bellion, a musical genius, is just emerging into the spotlight, as he just won his first Grammy last night for writing Eminem’s and Rihanna’s “Monster.”

For me, Jon has been mastered every emotion into a beat, every style into a lyric, and every inspiration into a song. He is the sexiest man alive lol. One More Time exemplifies that “fuck off society,” rebellious feeling that a soul can feel for another. That sexual intensity that ignites passion and excitement in a connection. It’s an exciting feeling that makes you want to break all rules, and run off with someone. It’s a playful energy that inspires life and beauty…So, let’s all just do it ONE MORE TIME!

If you like One More Time…Then click this link to hear more Jon. > 

Country is that windows down, mountain streaming hands, and wind through hair vibe. It’s summer through our ears, it’s freedom in our hears, and Sam Hunt’s Speakers is the epitome of that easy summer night love. Listening to it, you can feel the summer night dew on your skin, and the lips of that summer soul that matched yours that one summer. Summer is free, and so is my memories of those people I have shared the freedom of my kisses and heart with during those summers. It’s lovely to feel the speakers of our shared heartbeats, to feel the pounding and pumping that chemistry provokes. Summer lovin’ man…:)

Judge me all you want…5 Seconds of Summer is my new boy band. I’m proud to admit it, they are sexy, free, and their music represents the blissfulness of my life right now. Their lead singer Luke Hemming’s face melts my heart…that face, that lip piercing and style is sex.

Their Australian accents rock my world, and their She Looks So Perfect has a tint of sexiness and intrigue, but keeps crushin’ easy and cute…and it makes me wanna jam with that one cute dud… Australian boy bands man…

We The Kings are classic for 90’s babes, and Say You Like me is their classic “say you like me,” song.  Frusteration is bubbling when feelings aren’t shared, and the innocence of this song is perfect to tell the secrets of giddy love. Innocence and shyness is all part of the cycle of love. That pleaaaase tell me you feel the same way tingle kills, it’s just all part of giddy and innocent love man…

Afros man… Afros

There’s always something sexy about another time, another generation, an always simpler time. A time where cell phones weren’t man’s new best friend, reality T.V was called soap operas, and where it was groovy for your pants to be as big as your hair.       And I mean big…big like the voices that created Disco. “Papa was a Rolling Stone,” “Tragedy,” “My Girl,” these are songs that create disco balls in your ears, that can take you back to those white bell bottom suites, “Saturday Night Fever”, John Travolta smile nights. The music is electrifying, invigorating, still following the soul that preceded it, yet began the movement…of movement! The movement of dance, of hip swinging, finger matching neon dance.

I can picture it when I hear Earth Wind and Fire, the sweat on their foreheads, and the fire in their gut. I can feel it, when I hear the Bee Gees, I can hear the heart beats beating out of the sky blue lapels and untrimmed chests. It’s disco man, where beat and voice came together for the first time to create club music. To bring people our age together, to feel the music within their bones and sateen dresses. Where you…were the Temptations “My Girl” for the night.

It was disco man…disco. I wish that mirrored ball could still inspire the music of today. But, like all things, disco had it’s place in time, and it changed history, culture, music. It changed dance, life, and love. Disco emulated the time of the 70’s, and it still remains in the hearts of the white suite, and sateen dress mirrored ball survivors.

My mom is one of those sateen dress, finger matchin’, big pant, big hair survivors. And how blessed I am to have gotten a little piece of her mirror ball heart while growing up. To see the sparkle in her eye, and in that sparkle , see the swingin’ memories, and free spirited times of disco; of hard wood scuffed floors, and swinging hips. I hear these songs, and think of car rides to the Bee Gees, and look over and see her movin’ her head to the beat, it’s beautiful.

I picture her as she looked in those photos, denim bell bottoms, brown belt, and best of all, her ” al natural” big ass fro matched with that smile. That beautiful smile. So, thanks Mom, for sharing your disco heart, big ass fro, and swingin’ hips, because how beautiful it is, to get a little part of a different time, to get a little part of the 70’s.

And always enjoy the classics- For my Mom, I’ll aways be your girl 🙂

A Formative Exploration: Addyson S

Her formative songs, what, how they shaped and taught her.

Welcome to the Black Parade- My Chemical Romance 

 You know how you usually like music of your parents? And then one band becomes your own thing “YOUR FIRST BAND” they were my first band, I was nuts, obsessed. All posters, Cds, everything. Their third album of theirs, was MY ALBUM. They toured with this album, and it was my first concert at 13. My sexual awakening , who didn’t love Gerard Way? Their last concert was in Mexico, and you know how they have all that merchandise, well I bought this little coffin with all of their  different masks on it, fuckin’ rad. I played it on repeat all the time, it was constant. I became an Emo kid, which was unsuccessful lol, because I was an

Emo, happy go lucky. I tried with the all black shit, but instead made due with black lacy shit. Dark time in my life cuz of Hot Topic…Damn Hot Topic

It was the beginning of my formative songs, loved everything they wrote about. 

 Their new album came out called KillJoys while I was in Ireland, it broke my heart, cuz it was so poppy, and all dumb party songs. It was ruined, I  remember watching commercials and their song was in a GTA5 promo, MTV promotions, made me really sad. I became “Disenchanted”- because I was adult transforming because everything doesn’t stay the same. I grow up to see my heroes sell a car on tv… things change when you get older. And they got hipster….bummer

It’s true, we all have that ONE FUCKING SONG that seduced us, provoked us, and made us go all the way with that one genre, and that one band. That grabbed our hand and led us to our individual Siren Song, metaphorically and literally. Music does that, it’s our temptress, our mistress. Our lover that can calm us, inspire, provoke and revoke us, all because of that sexual awakening we have with it. Because we do, because music sometimes finds us, like that ONE FUCKING SONG that changed everything, it finds us.

Strangers- Yoko Kanno

Sound really nerdy, super nerdy, but this song was from my favorite anime called Wolf’s Rain, and the composer is Yoko Kanno, does a lot of anime, and all the songs sound really different, but all beautiful, kinda jazzy but really shhhhhh, how would I explain it, kind of etherial? Reminds me a lot of high school, really into it in high school, anime, the lifestyle.  And high school is weird, and made a lot of anime friends. Glad that time is over. This song is  an allegory for the entire show, about how they are like going to find paradise… I know this makes no sense. It’s a very literal place. Paradise basically ends up being like the world we live in right now. Significant for what we have now. I just really like the song, the singer sounds like a speakeasy jazz singer sort of.

Funny to think that an anime song could represent the fantasy we are in now, yet create an entire show based on the searching for the paradise we call our lives, Perspective is everything, and music is no different.

Alibi- 30 to Mars

Jared Leto…is one beautiful, sexy, mysterious, talented MAN!

This one will be a short little discussion, really  not much to say- Really really sad song, “she smiles” Jared Leto’s voice.. man…the main lyrics he screams are so good and so meaningful through so many things in life. I remember in 8th grade I started  listening to them and in 9th grade I remember this song in particular because we lived in a tiny apartment, and living through this transition of divorce of my Mom from my psychotic dad. 

I drove in my car last year and cried to it, it was a boy

Cry and just be over it.

Short and sweet.

Lol, yup songs and their “it’s a boy thing” mentality. Oh high school


Umm I started listening to this while I was living in Ireland, he is like a Irish chill wave artist, really cool, all his songs melodic, they really chill you out. But umm that song always reminds me of when I dated a gut in  Ireland who’s name was Sam, and was tremendously boring hahaha. It was an awkward time. SO um, sooo- I used to live 45 min from him, cuz we went to a private school, not like a school distract based school, so that’s where we met, we had a really small class, he wasn’t that cute either. And umm in Ireland there is a rail system, and I used to take the train to see my bf in Greystones, the whole majority was along the coast. I’ll show you a picture it’ll be really nice. And give you time to type ahah. (Gorgeous Irish coast pictures) and I always think of the cold,because the coast was fucking freezing. This song always reminds me of blue and green, cuz that it what I saw hen I was listening to it. My bf and I decided to walk from Brey to Gresytones, and it was just one stop, so not a far walk, about a block or so, and we saw these flowers that were like little fireworks, it was fu, and beautiful. That song just reminds me of my bf, and when I moved bak to the U.S, we didn’t break up, and I couldn’t listen to it back here because it just made me cry. And actually I just listened to it for the first time last night ,and I cried and cried because I miss Ireland and all my friends, but yeah.

Ireland, music, memories…how powerful the sense of listening can be, of hearing. How a simple song can rush back images of firework flowers, a painted coast of blues and greens, and all the emotions that those pictures once held.

Home- Will Hanson

Ok, umm-Home is a song I associate with Jack Kerouac’s book On the Road, mainly because it is the main score of the film version of the book, which was not that great to be honest. I remember the song more than the movie. It has been a really good song for me, and m life, it has applied to a lot in my life. This flows nicely actually, because right after we left Ireland we lived in middle of nowhere New Mexico, with my aunt and uncle, and I was so upset and I uhh and I obviously didn’t have a car and couldn’t go anywhere. I felt trapped, and I remember it, it was like one in the morning  and walked outside, and walked , and walked, and laid  down on the gravel and just cried. But umm they have this cute like brown husky named Montana and he just came up and sat next to me, and put his paw in my lap super cute,  but we sat there, together, and looked up at the starts,  and there was a millions and millions of them. I like that song a lot cuz I moved around a a lot and moved like 25 times between parents, a lot of moving. I always connected with that song because I associate home with different places, but at that point home was more like an idea I guess. We went back again recently, and it was good cuz it made me feel like a kid again, but again I’m an adult, So was kinda bittersweet, life life. Reminds me of Durango, because this was my  first pick of where I could call home, I mean I got it tattooed on my body, haha and listened to this song  while I was getting the tattoo, and went in my car and listened to it a bunch. I associate songs a lot with pictures, good and bad pictures. And I think of the first time climbing Points Peak. Getting my life situated, getting shit together, jk hahaha no I’m not. Chronically late for everything, and a big ole mess.

Music is bittersweet, it is pictures of happy times and desperate times. It is childhood, teenage drama, and now. It comes and goes in our lives, like places and homes, but unlike those truly tangible things, it never truly dissipates. We can always come harmoniously home.


I’m sure this is being mutually mentioned, but Addy and I sat next to each other last semester, three days a week, in a class both of us resented for different reasons. But we found laughter, and connection through that silly thing called resentment. And now, through music, lyrics, life experience, memories, and laughter we have reconnected. (P.S- Also, through our awesome love of those furry, fuzzy felines called cats too)

Music does that, it connects, reconnects, builds, construct new things, new beginnings, and endings. It is a multicultural tie, a bond between souls that is so beautiful and yet, so unexplainable. It is so difficult to grasp why music is so powerful. Is it scientific? Emotional? Spiritual? I think a mix of everything in life is music, but I like that I don’t truly know what makes music what it is for us, and for all species. It’s beautiful…and omnipotently special.

Within the Listenings of Addy Santese 🙂